Monday, 6 December 2010

Top 10 pet hates, pet peeves and general annoyances


There are some things that I fucking hate! Others that are just general annoyances and some rather niggly things. My biggest pet hates, pet peeves and just general annoyances are as extensive! I'll detail them because I think it's quite healthy to voice them and other frustrations now and again. I'd like very much to know what your pet hates are too! I'll be blogging the best and/or funniest 'pet hates', 'pet peeves' and 'annoyances' so list them in the comments section for mine, and others' amusement! Who knows (?) if I get enough I may be able to do a funny list and a most annoying voted list! I know you have some pet hates and peeves, here are MachineDaena's top 10 in order of least to most annoying:

Number 10. Over-exaggeration 

'BIG' over-exaggeration to be precise. OK, everyone over-exaggerates at least a little; "The train was running 20 minutes late", "I made her cum in just 3 mins" or "I've lost half a stone this month" but some people are appalling! This shouldn't become a habitual thing! I especially can't stand it when they know you know the story but they do it anyway in your presence! It's actually rather excruciating! A little over-exaggeration makes a story funny, but too much makes a story totally untrue, and makes the teller a total wanker! 

Number 9. One-upmanship 

One-upmanship. "My story is better than yours". I have to admit, sometimes I naturally do this so in some respects I'm a hypocrite, although in my defense I genuinely do actually have a vast number of pretty extreme, awesome and funnier stories than you (OK, most. . .slight over-exaggeration there)! I don't mind a little but of this, because it can be really amusing to watch someone trying their best to conjure up a better outcome that his social pal. Again this pet hate comes rather situational, I get very annoyed at people that chose to get one over on a friend by telling outright lies about what has happened in relaity! I know people that do this a lot, and what tends to happen is that people laugh AT THEM, rather than their story! Don't be a dick-head - tell real stories, how they happened please! 

Number 8. Self-love

No, not wankers or furious masturbaters; people that just love to look in the mirror at every opportunity! You know the type? Takes two hours to get ready, won't associate with 'lessers' and is totally self-indulged. Again, everyone can get a little bit like this at times, but moderation is beautiful, unlike the individuals that seem to perve on themselves! 

Number 7. People that are better than I am at playing Call of Duty (COD)

Call of Duty (COD)? OK I know this is pretty sad. I don't care. I won't pretend that many people, if any (!), will agree or sympathise with me on this one but for one sec imagine some cocky little pre-pubescent squeaky voiced bastard devil child yanks spending over five minutes in a game virtually humiliating you by shooting, stabbing, grenading, flash-banging and teabagging you? Not that bad I hear you say? Now imagine the bald-ball-bagged little shit both power-banters you over his geekrophone AND then get's a massively better than you set of 'for all to see' killing and accuracy stats? One way road to smashed televisions-ville. The stats don't lie.

Number 6. Small-Man syndrome 

Anyone that knows me shall be acutely aware that I'm not the tallest. I can also be rather confident and cocky at times. Don't mix the elements up for small-man syndrome! The missing link is natural angriness resulting from inadequacy of height. "what did the small angry man get when he stormed through a woman's legs? A clit round the ear and a flap round the face". STOP, DON'T JOKE! This is a serious disease affecting those males sub 5ft 4in who visualise themselves in a body of Heman or Popeye and act accordingly. No really, a major pet mate is angriness! I think I actually just hate all people that are overly angry, it's just that for smaller people it is more noticeable!

Number 5. Football 'over-banter' 

<-- How much does this kid look like charlie from the video 'charlie bit my finger'! Anyway, football 'over-banter' - I hate dick-heads that, even if they've just met you, think it's acceptable human behaviour to give massive headache and super heavy levels of banter toward you or your beloved childhood football team whom you've put hours into watching, supporting and purchasing things from. Small banter = funny! Big sporting banter = get out of my face or someone will hooligan you!  

Number 4. Smokers in public doorways 

Be more considerate toward other peoples' health! This is a major one for me and was a contender for the number 1 spot. The smoking ban has made things far worse because now instead of smoke spread thinly throughout a train platform, bar, pub or HOSPITAL waiting room, it's now spread triple-thick outside the doorway of every public place in the UK. Smoking isn't cool, least of all when you're freezing cold stood outside a bar in your dancing shirt or glam-wear with blue wrinkly lips. FAIL. 

Number 3. Noise ignorance 

This one is pretty standard really. So I thought I'd jazz it up with a Christmas festive audio treat (just turn your speakers on and click play). Whilst this is playing out, just remember to have a little more noise awareness. We don't want to hear you wanking, shagging, gossiping, moaning, screaming, watching tennis or reading humour. 

Number 2. Family or Friend Bashing 

Nobody likes it when their friends and family are put in a position of dislike or discomfort. I especially hate this. It's a major pet hate of MachineDaenas. I'll fully admit that I catch small man disease cold when my friends or family are bashed and often have to dispatch the ninjas. . . . . .

Number 1. Negative Facebook status' 

I'm not exactly number one fan of negative people anyhow, although I can see how a post about pet hates and pet peeves totally undermines this statement (before you say so). It's not fair to push, ney PREACH, this on your fellow pals and family on facebook. I routinely cull people from my facebook friends list that are too negative because sometimes you just have enough going on in your life without additional negative stress from some girl you once met in a club when you was 16 years old. You wouldn't walk up to someone you've not seen in 5 years and tell them about your abortion | toe stubbage | hangover | Xfactor vent | inadequate pay, so please don't do it on Facebook. Or at least if you do, please don't expect me to see it. . . . . . 

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